Krumpet

Yesterday did not go as planned.

I MEANT to write about Miss Gracie Katt, The Kleptomaniacal Norweigan Forest Cat. But things got in the way.

I blame Krumpet.

See, I TOLD Krumpet I planned to write about Gracie Katt. I also told her I plan to write a post devoted to my friend Barbie and then I said, "I plan to eventually write a post about each of my close friends. Even you."

She was dismayed. I was forbidden - FORBIDDEN - to write a post on her.

Heh. Let the fun begin.

I met Krumpet in ninth grade. In Mr Zoulias' Biology class. Mr Zoulias was not a good person to be teaching Bio as he was a bit of a perv himself, always leering down the young girls' shirts. Plus, he wore hideous plaid pants which might even be a worse offense.

Also, we had Biology seventh period, near the end of the day so rowdiness was usually setting in by the time we got to his class.

Our desks were arranged in the shape of a big ol' U, with a few rows of desks situated in the interior of the U. Tea (my oldest bff (in terms of tenure, not age!)) and I sat at the top of one end of the U, Krumpet and HER bff, Lilibet, sat at the other end of the U.

One loooooong boring afternoon, I look over and this strange girl (that would be Krumpet) is making faces at me. More specifically, she is pretending to be hanging from a noose with her tongue sticking out. It must be noted here that her tongue? Was pointing the wrong way.

I poked Tea. "Hey! Look at that girl over there!"

But the moment Tea looked over, Krumpet ceased her shenanigans and went all nonchalant and stuff.

I should have taken this as a sign of things to come and run far far away, but instead.....I giggled.

Tea went back to pretending to pay attention to Mr Z and Krumpet resumed her noose routine.

I poked Tea again.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

And that's how Tea and Krumpet and Lilibet and I eventually became The LADIEEEEZ.

(Disclaimer: As much as I love love love Allie, the drawings you are about to see are not in any way meant to imitate her style. She has real talent. I have.....none. Krumpet actually does have some artistic talent but her drawings were done very very quickly in the midst of a busy work day. So although imitation = flattery (or something like that) in this case....no)

So ANYWAY....when I was telling Krumpet yesterday about how I was going to tell this story, I asked her to illustrate the whole noose thing for me. Because y'all? I can not draw. At all.

The following conversation ensued:

Krumpet: NO! STOP IT! THERE WILL BE NO MENTION OF TONGUES GOING THE WRONG WAY AND INVISIBLE NOOSES!
Me: You totally need to draw me a picture of you with your tongue going the wrong way. And the noose. Totally. Cus if you don’t, I might have to try.
Krumpet: NO! I SAID NO!!!!!
Me: Cooperate or this is how I’m going to draw you


Krumpet: But the tongue is going the wrong way! And I’m BALD!!!!
Krumpet: Seriously, that was not cool because now I’m all snorty trying not to laugh.
Me: I am not a good draw-er. Plus? I was all snorty too. I might have to post that pic to FB because of its awesomeness. With no explanation of course.
Krumpet: Tea and Lilibet miiiiiight get it. You could at least add HAIR to my pointy head!
Krumpet: Plus the noose was INVISIBLE! Here: fixt


Me: VICTORY IS MINE! Bwahahahahhaaaaa!!!!
Krumpet: WAIT, WHAT? CURSES!!!!!
Me: <is feeling all clever and stuff>

Krumpet: I’m drawing one of you. With a perm and BIG GLASSES.


Me: New FB profile pic FTW!
Krumpet: FOILED AGAIN!!!!!!

So haHA! I win!

Krumpet's drawing is scarily accurate.  Here is a REAL picture of me, circa 1986  Cue screeching violins


It's kinda horrifying, I know.

I realize the ultimate victory might be Krumpet's since she has very cannily manipulated me into posting this picture on teh interwebs.  And I hate this picture so very much.  But....I love me some Krumpet so all is forgiven.

Besides.....I've got a mumillion more Krumpet stories in my back pocket.  Just wait.
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1 comments:

Anonymous said...
October 22, 2010 at 8:02 AM

This is too funny and I can totally visualize all of it.

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